Home Away From Home

I got out of the car with a real bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I assumed this might be motion sickness, though I knew this feeling and was sure it had nothing to do with the 10 hour long drive. "It's a bad idea." My mind kept repeating over and over.

"Sarojini Naidu Girl's hostel", read the building I was about to enter.

"You don't have to do this. Go for the college in your hometown.", the pessimist part of my brain told me.

"Oh, Come on! This is just a hostel, many people live in hostels, to gain education, it's no big deal." said the saner part of me. But I had decided to go with the pessimist in me. I groaned.

"Everything all right?" asked my Dad. "Yep" came the white lie, though I was scared stiff.

We stepped inside the building which was in a desolate condition. I could see girls all around me, sitting on the tables in the mess, looking up at me. I gulped. I hated being the 'newbie'. I could see them checking my clothes out, then my height, built. "Darn it!" I thought.

A scary looking woman came out and greeted us, she was the warden of the hostel. She asked me to fill up a form and then showed me a room on the first floor. With the paint peeling off and half the wood of the extremely small closet eaten by termites, the place had a gloomy and shabby feel to it. The only good thing about this room was... well, nothing good about the room save the view from the window.

"Umm...What say??" asked my Dad uncertain what to say. I replied with fake smile, "I like it, it's large, has a window and a bathroom as well." , "ya , a bathroom which smelled worse than a public 'sulabh complex'" was a thought I kept to myself.

"OK beta, Take care, study well, Don't worry, We are just one call away." said my Dad. "No, you guys are 10 hours and 755 Kms away. ", I thought. I gulped my tears back and smiled my fake smile again and kept it plastered on my face until his car was out of sight. I was all alone for the first time in my life. I had been dreading this moment ever since I made up my mind to come to this city for my college education. I dragged my feet to my small room on the first floor, aware that every girl around me was watching me with curiosity. I was sure I looked like a lost puppy.Correction, a lost puppy fighting tears. I reached my room and closed the door behind me and was all ready for a nice cry when i noticed another girl in my room. "OK, I'll save the tears for later." I thought.

She was my room partner. I had not anticipated that I will find my roomie this soon. I was somewhat glad and somewhat worried. "Hey." I said tentatively. She smiled at me. "OK, this one seems friendly." I thought.

"Hi. I'm Meera and you?" She asked.

"Sandhya Aneja, What's your full name?" I asked.

With a shrug of her shoulders she replied, "Meera. I don't have a surname. I like it this way." she said with a finality in her voice.

I thought keeping my mouth shut would be the best thing to do.

It wasn't that I was unfriendly but I felt a bit awkward around new people and it took me time to get over it. The cocooned atmosphere at home had done this to me. Meera seemed to be the same kind of person. We carried on unpacking and making our beds.

Later at dinner, I sat with a few other "freshies", they were good to talk to and kept my mind away from the fact that I was away from home and was eating horrendous mess food. OK, I knew I was eating ugly awful mess food with each bite. Never forgot about that.

After reaching my room, keeping the promise I had made to myself, I did cry myself to sleep, missing my nice fluffy soft pillow at home.

Next day, I got up early and got ready ahead of time to go register for my classes. Near the main staircase in college, I bumped in to a huge bunch of students, seniors. "Oops! sorry. Umm.. Can you tell me where the office area is." I said.

"Freshie ho??", came the reply.

"umm.. yes.", and at that, they started cheering and a few of them started circling me.

My common sense told me I was at the wrong place at wrong time. I stood still.

"Chal beta, introduce yourself.", said one guy with a wicked grin, "in shudhdh hindi."

That was just the beginning of ragging A.K.A "intro" as it is called in colleges these days.

And so I washed clothes, waited tables in canteen and mess, danced, sang, copied assignments and did God knows what just in the name of "intro".

For the next few weeks apart from seniors; teachers and a few fellow freshies made my life miserable. Introvert as I was, my only solace was the sanctuary of my room and when I wouldn't be running errands for seniors and working on infinite assignments, I would sit by the window and cry silent tears missing home and longing for the sense of belonging. In case my parents called from home, I would fill my voice with fake enthusiasm and tell them of my imaginary friends and whatever imaginary things I did with them.

My first assumption about Meera proved right and thus we talked only when it would be utterly necessary. And one month passed just like this.

Now atrocities by seniors lessened and I got used to the grueling schedule and the  heaps of assignments.Also my crying sessions by the window reduced.

But what remained was the loneliness I felt at times, as if I was standing still watching the world pass me by. And the worst thing about feeling lonely is that it turns seconds into minutes, minutes into hours...
Then this problem was remedied as well. During one lab-class I was paired with a bespectacled girl with wayward curly hair. She seemed quite friendly, and we talked, talked and talked for 2 hours while doing our work. I felt like everything I had kept bottled up in the past one month was spilling from my lips. She was a hosteler as well, and lived in the same hostel. I was amazed that I never saw her. Priyamvada was her name.
"So, are you gonna do this assignment tonight?", she asked at the end of the class.
"umm.. ya, may be."
"Hey!! Why don't we do it together, You can come to my room , if you want to, my roomie won't mind at all. " priyamvada suggested.
"ohk, its not like I've got anything to this evening"Isaid, "apart from sit all alone by the same old window, and look at the same old road with the same old people passing by", I thought.
That day I went to her room in the evening( abandoning my "sitting by the window" ritual) and met her roomie, Vaishali, who just like her was friendly and kind. Now whenever I would find spare time, I would go to their room and we would talk and joke and laugh. For the first time I had someone who I could call my friend in the hostel. And for the first time after I had come to the hostel, I started seeing it as a place where I belonged. And with passing time, the hostel building seemed less desolate and less gloomy and more lively.
That year on Diwali when we were all leaving for home, I felt like I was leaving my home. Everything about college and hostel was imprinted in my memories, the mess, library, classes, ragging and friends.
And I was looking forward to coming back to my 'home' away from home.